Rush to Slow Down

Lazy days of  lounging around in jammies, pancakes whenever we felt like it and flip flops have given way to early mornings, hurried breakfasts and shoes and socks.  It has taken a couple of weeks to adjust to the new school schedule - hench the dearth of blog posts - but the dust is finally settling.  Oliver loves kindergarten and I am coming to terms with the fact that he will no longer allow me to come into his classroom with him in the morning (sniff sniff).  I find it odd though, that for all of the rigidity and rush in our days now, I have been forced to slow down.

For all of Emory's little life, he has shared everything with his brother.  Oliver was in preschool a few days a week, but between morning naps and errands, we rarely had time to kill.  Now we have 3 1/2 hours together every day. Shopping with Emory isn't really working right now, so that option is out.  Its been a long time since I have been home alone for hours with a toddler, and I forgot how taxing it is to be the sole entertainment for a little one.  The house is so quiet and Emory just clings to me.  We both miss our Oliver dearly.  As Emory said in the car as we drove away from school the other day, "need Oliver... miss Oliver...snuggle Oliver."

After a few days of feeling frustrated by my inability to do anything, even shower, without Oliver around to provide some distraction for his brother, I had a realization.  I finally have the chance to get to know my little Emory.  I'm a SAHM, of course I know my kids, but I have the chance to see who Emory is on his own.  He will be two in just a couple of weeks, and seeing him outside of his brother's shadow is amazing.  We have had some lovely walks, playtime and snuggles together.  While Oliver is obviously a more sophisticated conversationalist, I adore Emory's jumbled attemps at communication.  I am learning what he really likes to do and what he is uniquely good at.  We are taking a little music class together and its fun to see his budding musical talent (he can already match pitch!).

I still have to remind myself (frequently) to relax when I start feeling anxious about all of the things I'm not getting done, but its hard to find anything more worthwhile than the feel of a snuggly little guy on your lap and the smell of his curly blonde head tucked under your chin.