Today is October 9th - a beautiful crisp fall day. But for me, it is an annual day of sadness. On October 9th, 12 years ago, my mother lost her 5 year battle with breast cancer. Despite the many passing years, I still miss her every single day. My mom was beautiful, smart, kind, generous, creative, musical, and so much more. Everyone who knew her loved her. And so today, on this October 9th, I will attempt, with my inadequate words, to share a small piece of all my mother gave to me.
My mother was pragmatic and taught me the skills of domestic life. She showed me how to clean the house from the top down, how to properly fold a fitted sheet and how to use simple ingredients to prepare comforting family meals.
My mother taught me to be a lady. She showed me how to choose clothing in colors that looked best on me. She taught me to always wear a slip with a skirt and how to tie a perfect bow. She taught me to french braid and curl my hair. She showed me how to be a gracious hostess and how to set a lovely table. She taught me the formula for writing the perfect thank you note.
My mother showed me the joy of creating something with my own two hands. She spent hours teaching me to sew, cross-stitch and embroider. She showed me that with a little creativity, you can make something wonderful from so little.
My mother put magic into my childhood. She was a maker of treasure hunts and giver of unexpected surprises. I remember one beautiful afternoon when she helped my sister and I build house in the woods and furnish it with rocks and logs.
My mother put music in my soul and taught me to sing.
My mother taught me to be a steadfast and loving wife. She showed me how to fight, forgive and move on, and that marriage is a constant work in progress.
My mother taught me to be grateful. Growing up as the youngest of 12 children in a poor farming family, her youthful dream was to one day own a house with a yard and a chain link fence. While she ended up with so much more, she never took for granted all that she had.
My mother showed me how to live in the present and not to "borrow trouble". She knew how to work hard and have fun.
My mother showed me generosity of spirit and the joy that can be created by doing something special for someone else.
My mother taught me to love God and showed me a picture of unwavering faith.
My mother always told me she was proud of me - something that uplifts me even now.
My mother showed me that mother's love is constant, nurturing and protective, but not suffocating. She was a giver of hugs, whether welcome or not!
My mother showed me how to live fiercely and gracefully despite great hardship. She never gave in to her illness or lost herself in it. She was grateful for every day that she was given.
My mother showed me how to bravely face death with unfailing faith in the life to come after.
My mother did not tell me what losing her would feel like or how the world would change without her in it. She never explained that grief is like a sharp sting at first, but gradually becomes a dull and ever present ache. She couldn't tell me what it would feel like to hold my babies for the first time and long to have her there to share the moment with me.
But nothing can be gained from dwelling on the things that my mother couldn't teach me - it would only serve to diminish all of the things that she did. I cannot begin to measure up to the kind of person that she was, and to live wholly in the way in which she taught me. All I can do is try and pass my mother's beautiful wisdom on to my boys, and perhaps someday share it with my grandchildren.
Mom, today and every day
I am so truly thankful for all you've given me. I love you!
Linda Marie Garretson Leising
1948-2002
