The new "happy hour" is the wedge of time between my children's bedtime and my own. Yes, this is the beautiful time of my day when I relax, chat with my husband over a glass of wine and catch up on my reading. Ouch, I think I fell asleep and hit my head on the keyboard! And, reading what I just wrote, I must have been sleep-typing again. The hours between the kids' bedtime and my own are more like a jumble of dishes, laundry, laying on the couch for a few minutes of mindless TV, and then forcing myself to get up and do stuff. And of course the feelings of guilt that I am too tired to tidy the house so that I can wake with a lovely fresh start in the morning.
Well, I'm on a mission to bring a little of the happy back to that precious kid-free time of the day. I have analyzed the situation and realized that I simply cannot keep up with the mess generated by the two, make that three (sorry honey) tornadic forces that I live with. Could I better organize my time and plan my tasks in order to get everything done? Possibly, but I've tried that, and I still end up exhausted and irritated. It dawned on me a couple of days ago that I am sitting on a relatively untapped source of renewable energy...my children! Yes, I have always known that chores are very important for building independence, giving children a sense of belonging within the family, developing a good work ethic, etc. But, while I sporadically seek to involve my kids in the household work, I invariably revert to doing things myself because its faster, and frankly I'm better at it. Well, no more! Oliver is starting kindergarten next week, and I would be insulting his intelligence to assume that he can't take over some specific jobs around the house.
So, he and I sat down and created a chart for his tasks. He will begin receiving a small allowance if he is able to manage his responsibilities without complaints or reminders. He is very excited and is already making a plan for saving up enough quarters to buy something that he really wants. You may be against the idea of an allowance or an allowance based on chores, but I figure it mirrors reality - you work, you get paid. Yes, I do think that being part of a family and pitching in is what its really about, but he already understands that and is usually a willing helper.
Last night when I went to kiss Oliver goodnight, he said that he had a new plan for keeping his bed made. He had just made it and was planning to sleep on top of his quilt so that he never had to make it again. A little misguided, but he's trying! He did a spectacular job of cleaning up his room before bed tonight - no "teamwork" required. I hope that it sticks.
Even little Emory is getting in the game. Like all toddlers, he loves to help out, but I am taking it one step further with him. When he decides to empty out a cabinet, or throw his blocks across the room, despite his still adorable screams of "NO!", he is required to clean up his mess (with help) before leaving the room or moving on to the next thing. This should make a huge difference in the amount of mess that is left in his wake.
The biggest challenge is sticking to the new plan, but with Oliver's dream of a new lego set and my dream of a leisurely glass of wine with my husband, we might just make it work.
